Morning Light and Life With Imperfections

I wake with a start to the soft sound of trumpets; my phone plays training montage music from the Rocky soundtrack.  I smile a little in the darkness, groggily throw off the covers and cross the room to silence my alarm.  I pull the curtains from my window and blink at the early dawn light … Continue reading Morning Light and Life With Imperfections

A Barrage of Flashbacks–and Pendulation

content warning: domestic violence, weapons I’m charging down the American Tobacco Trail when the apprehension hits. My mind is swirling with the stories of women I’ve seen posted to social media as a rash of abortion bans has inflamed the nation.  A procession of small children approaches on the trail. I move around them into the … Continue reading A Barrage of Flashbacks–and Pendulation

Full Circle, Nothing Left For Me Here Now

When I drove east on Holloway Street from Durham, the once familiar path had a detour.  The very route that used to lead home seemed to remind me that isn’t the way anymore.  Still, I followed the detour through modest neighborhoods on the outskirts of Durham, my car full of camping gear and groceries. As … Continue reading Full Circle, Nothing Left For Me Here Now

Love Rushes In/A Victory Lap (2/2)

(...continued from previous) Home. I lose it.  I sob bitterly, openly, occasionally swiping the tears from my cheeks.  I scan the crowds wishing for a friendly face.  A woman standing alone makes eye contact.  We look directly at each other as I approach.  Her face is full of empathy and she nods at me as … Continue reading Love Rushes In/A Victory Lap (2/2)

Love Rushes In/A Victory Lap (1/2)

I toss and turn amid nightmares about the race, my abuser, my dead cat and Kevin.  I wake in an unfamiliar bed well before dawn knowing that I'm not falling back asleep and that today I run the 123rd Boston Marathon.  I smile in the darkness.  When I step outside it is pouring rain. An … Continue reading Love Rushes In/A Victory Lap (1/2)

Oranges and Brief Tender Moments of Shared Humanity

I fled from my home unplanned late one night because I was afraid, and in those early days I had to get used to a lot more driving than I'd been doing.  I kept a bag of groceries in my car. I had lost my home in an instant, along with my sense of safety … Continue reading Oranges and Brief Tender Moments of Shared Humanity

The Comfort of Home and the Fundamental Truth Of Love

Before he stopped responding to me, I had one last good phone conversation with Kevin*.  We talked about my housing situation.  I have been without a permanent home ever since leaving my abuser--it's coming up on two years.  My mailing address is with one friend, most of my things are in storage, and what I … Continue reading The Comfort of Home and the Fundamental Truth Of Love