As Sick As My Secrets, Loving Kindness and Homecoming (2/2)

(...continued) I run past Cocoa Cinnamon on my right and smile when I see the Radical Healing campus.  I bring my hand to my lips and wave, my heart bursting with reverence and respect for my friend Dave and her vision.  I beam at the sweet white house with a giant pink triangle on the … Continue reading As Sick As My Secrets, Loving Kindness and Homecoming (2/2)

Love Rushes In/A Victory Lap (2/2)

(...continued from previous) Home. I lose it.  I sob bitterly, openly, occasionally swiping the tears from my cheeks.  I scan the crowds wishing for a friendly face.  A woman standing alone makes eye contact.  We look directly at each other as I approach.  Her face is full of empathy and she nods at me as … Continue reading Love Rushes In/A Victory Lap (2/2)

Light Pours In: The Healing Power Of Loving Touch

My clothes hang over a hook on the door.  The room is sunny and decorated in pale blue with images of the buddha and a picture of Rev. Dr. King.  I climb onto the table and cover up with a thick blanket.  There's a table heater; it is comforting.  Anna comes in and asks if … Continue reading Light Pours In: The Healing Power Of Loving Touch

A Bad Day, Kindness and Grace

I sit huddled into the corner of the couch at home, surrounded by pillows, wearing my oldest ugliest yoga pants and a mismatched flannel.  My eyes are twitching so hard I can hear it, my head throbs and every so often I break into great, gasping sobs. I try working; I have to fix my … Continue reading A Bad Day, Kindness and Grace

Emotional Triage and My Own Emerging Wisdom

I am on the phone with a local radio host for an interview about yoga and wellness for entrepreneurs.  She tells me she always prays before the show to center herself, so I am silent as she thanks the almighty for the opportunity to help people, humbly asking that others be moved toward healing.  Finally … Continue reading Emotional Triage and My Own Emerging Wisdom

Attachment Avoidance, Love, Death and Dignity (2/3)

(...continued) content warning: suicidal ideation, graphic imagery I don't want this life; a life that's difficult and lonely.  I don't want to keep on with my impotent love, struggling for something I can't have.  I was so stupid and naive with my hope for this relationship and my own healing.  I want to die.  I … Continue reading Attachment Avoidance, Love, Death and Dignity (2/3)

Letting Love Carry Me

I ran my marathon in November--and my community helped me exceed my fundraising goal well ahead of schedule.  It was really moving for me.  The thing is, I wanted that to be the end of my lesson in asking for help and trusting the universe.  Asking for that money was uncomfortable, and vulnerable--but initially, I couldn't even admit...