Nightmares and Intrusive Thoughts, EMDR and Rage

I dream that I am standing in Kevin's kitchen.  He's upset, bitterly ranting about how bad things have been for him since I last saw him.  I feel his pain and go to him, tell him I'm sorry, hold out my arms.  He comes to me; I hold him tenderly.  That dream haunts me for … Continue reading Nightmares and Intrusive Thoughts, EMDR and Rage

The Decidedly-Not-A-Miracle Power Of Therapy

content warning: suicidal ideation I sit with my therapist and tell her how I came to end what felt like the healthiest relationship of my life in a way that was so out of character.  I tell her about the paralyzing grief and anxiety, the confusion, my inability to focus on anything else.  She digs … Continue reading The Decidedly-Not-A-Miracle Power Of Therapy

The Barometric Pressure of Unresolved Trauma (1/2)

content warning: drug abuse, suicidal ideation I miss him and haven't heard from him so I send tender, vulnerable text messages.  His responses are terse and defeated.  In the language of marriage research, we've played out the demand/withdraw dynamic--except that I've set aside my defenses in hopes of helping my partner feel safe, and when … Continue reading The Barometric Pressure of Unresolved Trauma (1/2)