Compassionate Presence and Healing Touch, A Lineage of Love

My client lays before me on my Thai mat, having explained the various issues he's currently facing.  Our conversation dissolves as he stretches his long legs toward me and attends to breathing deeply.  I kneel before him, eyes closed, pausing for a silent Wai Kru.  I wait for my own inner chatter to quiet.  When … Continue reading Compassionate Presence and Healing Touch, A Lineage of Love

The Allure and Danger of Following; Finally, I Danced

I’ve barely danced since my wedding.  When my spouse came back from deployment I found this salsa night I really wanted to go to.  I asked over and over again, couldn't we go salsa dancing?  He never would--though he'd later leave while I was sleeping to dance at Legends.  I don't care so much about … Continue reading The Allure and Danger of Following; Finally, I Danced

A Healing Relationship: Bodywork as Resuscitation

content warning: suicidal ideation I am getting a massage.  My bank account balance is so low I've transferred money out of savings for this because my body feels horribly dysregulated and I can't fix it myself.  All the post-concussive symptoms are back in full force--the nausea and dizziness, the light sensitivity, the eye strain and … Continue reading A Healing Relationship: Bodywork as Resuscitation

Healing and Unconditional Positive Regard

On Saturday morning I wake from disturbing dreams: of my abuser coming after me--and of my cat purring in my arms while I rub my face against her silky neck and say to my friend "I know she's died, but she feels real."  Of course, Kira did die and I'm awake only a few moments … Continue reading Healing and Unconditional Positive Regard

Healing In Community: I Am Safe Here

It's my last morning at Danielle's house.  I wake, meditate and go for one last run along the Eno River, slower than I'd like.  I do pull-ups in the master bedroom. I feel heavy and weak and irritable, but I am determined and I get them done.  Pixie the cat paces around me while I … Continue reading Healing In Community: I Am Safe Here

Why Showing Up Early Is Terrible and Wonderful

I had an odd midday meeting between classes, and now I have an hour before I need to be at Durham VA to teach.  Coffeeshops make me uneasy now, so I figure I'll get some work done in my car.  I park in the lot facing traffic--I can't tolerate the sound of it behind me, … Continue reading Why Showing Up Early Is Terrible and Wonderful