Disappointing Pharmaceuticals, Nightmares and Another Missed Run

I send a volley of emails back and forth with the concussion specialist that amounts to; "I can't do this anymore.  Please prescribe all the drugs, I am desperate."  He doubles the Prozosin that's supposed to help with the nightmares.  I take my new dose--and Advil for the headache I have most of the time … Continue reading Disappointing Pharmaceuticals, Nightmares and Another Missed Run

Emotional Triage and My Own Emerging Wisdom

I am on the phone with a local radio host for an interview about yoga and wellness for entrepreneurs.  She tells me she always prays before the show to center herself, so I am silent as she thanks the almighty for the opportunity to help people, humbly asking that others be moved toward healing.  Finally … Continue reading Emotional Triage and My Own Emerging Wisdom

Comfortable With Uncertainty; The Grace I Give Myself

I run and I miss him.  I notice that I'm running when I've already been at it a couple miles; I'm neither enjoying nor struggling with it.  I'm merely hurtling my body through space in an accustomed way while my brain runs and runs; attachment theory, core wounds, one-sided conversations and conversations we've had already. … Continue reading Comfortable With Uncertainty; The Grace I Give Myself

Approaching peril, do I trust my feet?

As I prepare to leave in the semi-dark, my friend continues to sleep in the other room.  I strap on my running watch and consider whether to conceal my stun gun, just in case.  He doesn't even wake up this early, I remind myself.  He doesn't know where I'm staying now or which trail I'm … Continue reading Approaching peril, do I trust my feet?

See the Light

After a few minutes, I begin to feel the pain of longing for the home studio I left when I fled my marriage.  My head throbs slightly, and tears pour down my face into my ears and hair.  Breathe, I exhort myself, and lie there with my sorrow and resentment.  I breathe and remind myself...

Being Loved

Oh my god.  That's really bad.  I've just broken up with him.  I can't engage with him over his choices.  I stand in the kitchen, my chest tight, swimming in grief and agony.  It's Valentines' Day.  There is nobody I can call, nobody I can talk to, nothing...