Loneliness, Binge Eating and Being In Love

I stand in my friend's kitchen.  Her cats wolf down their food.  The sun streams in all the windows, drawing shifting stripes across the daffodil yellow countertops.  It's Saturday.  I drink sparkling water from a green can and sigh; I'm tired and cranky and it has occurred to me that my friend's seriously righteous candy … Continue reading Loneliness, Binge Eating and Being In Love

Morning Light and Life With Imperfections

I wake with a start to the soft sound of trumpets; my phone plays training montage music from the Rocky soundtrack.  I smile a little in the darkness, groggily throw off the covers and cross the room to silence my alarm.  I pull the curtains from my window and blink at the early dawn light … Continue reading Morning Light and Life With Imperfections

A Healing Relationship: An Apology From My Therapist

content warning: suicidal ideation, self-harm I hear the voice of my therapist saying, "Can you honor your anger?  You've described a man who gave every indication of skillfulness and emotional maturity.  You've also described some really hurtful behavior.  Have you seen that skillfulness and emotional maturity from him when it really counts?" Get angry, I … Continue reading A Healing Relationship: An Apology From My Therapist

Anxious Attachment and Failure to Communicate

I keep feeling this sense of unease, and I've been judging myself for it.  Anxious attachment, I notice when Kevin* pulls away slightly in bed and I grow distraught.  Or when he isn't holding my hand quite as much as I think he did last week.  Or when I think he's giving me just a … Continue reading Anxious Attachment and Failure to Communicate

Accidental Exposure Therapy and Breakthrough Moments

A few days after I rediscover my handstand, Kevin* sits working with his morning coffee at the kitchen table while I meet the morning sunshine with Surya Namaskara (Sun Salutations).  I feel safe and confident. Later I drive to a meeting with other healers.  These women are kindred spirits.  Nobody in this room talks credentials … Continue reading Accidental Exposure Therapy and Breakthrough Moments

I Honor the Light Within Me; I Am Unstoppable

I’m driving home from a long day. The road is busy and my body is stiff with fear. Still, there’s something different in my countenance. I’m afraid, but full of determination. I turn over some of the words that have been spoken to me this week—the validation, the affirmation, the support and the love. I … Continue reading I Honor the Light Within Me; I Am Unstoppable